I was going to just write another short Facebook post on Christmas this year, but then I remembered that I have time right now to write on the blog. Time. What a precious gift. It's one that we try not to take for granted around here given that our normal schedules don't usually give us much of it. But for right now, I'm enjoying the room to breathe. Not that I'm not always breathing, but right now, for however long it lasts, I'm not just going through the motions. I'm aware of each breath, taking in longer, deeper breaths and appreciating the gift of life that each one brings.
In this state of awareness of life that my breathing gives, I started thinking about the first breath that happened on the very first Christmas. The breath that gave us Christmas. The breath that also gives me life today. It's so weird to contemplate that the One who doesn't need breath to live, chose to succumb to its restrictions as a gift of life to the rest of us. When You don't need breath to live, You don't have to die. Jesus knew that accepting a life that required breathing to live meant that He would also have to one day die. And He did it anyway. His first breath wasn't a gift of life for Himself, but a gift for us.
I've had to keep that at the forefront of my mind this Christmas season as I've struggled with some changes in tradition that occurred this year. It wasn't anything completely out of the ordinary or devastating.. just normal stuff that happens when kids get older. Last year, Korben found out the truth about Santa. Which meant he also found out the truth about our elves, Asher and Candy Elf. But Logan still believed so Korben became a helper in keeping the magic alive for him. This year, Logan also found out the truth. So that's it. No more Santa. No more Candy Elf. No more letters to the North Pole. No more excitement in looking for Candy Elf in the mornings and wondering what he told Santa last night. And it has all been a bit sad for me. I have felt like a piece of Christmas is missing without their joy and excitement over those things. Their belief in those things is what has made Christmas so fun for me as a parent over the last eleven years. I wasn't prepared for this day when it would just suddenly stop.
Logan asked if he could hold the elf now that he knows it's not real, and he said it felt weird to hold him after so many years of not being able to touch him so he wouldn't lose his magic. It was weird for me too. The boys still wanted to take turns hiding Candy Elf, but it just wasn't the same. The funny thing is, when Logan first started asking questions about Santa this year, I told him that what's more important to remember about Santa is not Santa the man himself, but the spirit behind Santa. And now I'm being all hypocritical and forgetting that spirit myself just because my kids know the truth. But Santa and elves don't actually have anything to do with Christmas. So maybe instead of being crushed by the ending of certain traditions, I should just focus on why we even have Christmas to begin with and the real reason behind the Christmas spirit. Besides, traditions only exist because they at one point began, which means new ones can always be started. So here's to starting new traditions but also being ok without any traditions at all. Because no matter what, Christmas is still Christmas.
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