Brokenness is Beautiful (and a book recommendation)

About a year ago, I saw a quote somewhere on the Internet about change and brokenness and growth as related to a seed. I loved it and immediately posted it on my own Instagram account. It has stuck with me ever since.  Also, Ann Voskamp is one of my favorite writers. Her words speak to me like nobody else's. So when I found out about her newest book, The Broken Way, I ordered it immediately. I am only a few chapters into it, but that same quote about the seed was in the very first chapter I read. She expands on it and tells how her husband once told her that we shouldn't be afraid of broken things because the feast only comes FROM BROKENNESS. "The seed is broken to give us the wheat, the soil is broken to give us the crop, the sky breaks to give us the rain, the wheat breaks to give us the bread, and the bread breaks to give us the feast." Beautiful. And then I think about Jesus' body being broken and how we eat of the broken bread to remember the beauty in His brokenness. God himself became broken and look at the overflowing amount of beauty that comes from it. I can't help but dwell on that as my heart explodes into a million pieces over and over again. His broken body gives us the feast of Himself. Because Jesus allowed his body to break, we all get to have Him with us forever. While I'm over here complaining about my brokenness, He CHOSE to be broken because of what He was able to give out of that brokenness. What in the whole wide world? How do I mimic that kind of selfless giving?

Then, while looking for pictures to steal from the Internet to post on here, I learned that there is a Japanese art called Kintsugi that uses liquid gold and silver to mend broken ceramics. The idea is that instead of throwing away the broken pieces or trying to hide them with glue, the damage is incorporated into the repaired piece. The result is a new creation with character and history that makes it more beautiful than the original.

Brokenness is beautiful.

This past summer I naively wrote something about how 2 years post divorce, I am back to being just "Cassi" instead of "broken Cassi." I was in a good season of life, things were going well and it was a nice thought.  And the very next day after writing that I was no longer broken, I was reminded of how untrue that is. I forgot that my heart is a mended heart and can be broken all over again at any given moment without any warning. I forgot that brokenness is permanent in this life and that wholeness won't come this side of heaven until I am with the One who keeps mending my broken heart while I'm living in this broken world. And mending had to start all over again. There is no more "unbroken Cassi." She doesn't exist anymore. Brokenness can never be undone and is forever a part of who I am. But this time, instead of trying to fix my brokenness, I am learning how to embrace it. I'm replacing the glue with gold. And I'm learning what it's like to give out of my brokenness just like the bread gives the feast from being broken. It's hard and I keep failing. All of these consuming, overwhelming desires constantly flowing in my insides to live and pour out His love, but I can't seem to get it right when living it on the outside in actual life. But I keep trying - because I desperately want to live in the complete fullness of His love.

This is a very short thought on the subject, but there are so many more fantastic words about it in Ann's book. If you are one of the broken ones, I highly recommend reading it. It is good for the broken soul.