An Open Letter to Judah's Parents

Dear Mark and Christi,

You may not remember me. I only met you for the first time tonight at one of the Judah Brown charity events. I know of Judah from preschool but since he wasn't in my class, I never knew you. I've thought of you and prayed for you so many times over the last 6 months, but my heart wasn't equipped for the shattering it would experience seeing you in person. I only got a glance of you before I had to turn away because I was about to completely break down. All of those happy smiling children around - including my own - but no Judah. And yet there you were, smiling yourselves, just for the sake of the people around you. I finally got up the courage to introduce myself and you laughed and joked with my youngest son about his missing teeth - while your youngest son was just missing. My heart couldn't handle the torture that I knew you must have been feeling. And if my own heart was so broken, how deep and agonizing your broken heart must have been. What do you say to someone who is living every parent's worst nightmare? I don't even remember the words that actually made it out of my mouth, but they must have been the dumbest words ever spoken on the planet. I wish with everything inside of me that I could make it all ok for you. But I can't. So I just hugged you and then awkwardly said goodbye. What an empty gesture. And now here I am, sitting on my couch with tears running down my face, writing you a letter that you may not even ever see. I have absolutely nothing to offer you in your time of grief. But I promise you that Judah is not forgotten. I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but his memory will live with me forever. I hope that brings just the tiniest fraction of comfort. And I continue to pray for you. For our Father to reveal Himself to you and love on you in overwhelming ways that only He can - since He is the only One that can bring the kind of true comfort that you deserve. I pray that He makes your days left here on earth as bearable as possible until you get to see your sweet Judah again. And for whatever they're worth, I'm sending you the biggest hugs that I possibly can.

💔,
Cassi